brookesmxrt-archive:

MEME: send me a ‘✉’ for five times my muse didn’t text yours, and one time they did.
STATUS: accepting

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  i’d never say this to your face but you’re a really good friend

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  DID YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME BY MYSELF WITH THIS GROUP OF SKEEZEBAGS? I S2G WHEN I GET HOME YOUR ASS IS GRASS

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  ok there’s a small chance i might’ve destroyed the kitchen wAIT NEVER MIND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT JUST GOT HERE WE’RE GOOD

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  why is gwen wearing my silver pumps? DID YOU GIVE GWEN MY SILVER PUMPS? and why do they look better on her than me?

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  if you bring someone home tonight make sure they can cook. i’m feeling pancakes for breakfast.

[  text  :   gutter troll 🍆🍆  ]  :  we just got a flower delivery at the apt. for you. it says they’re from a secret admirer. are you sending yourself flowers again??