solelioness:

FRIENDS SENTENCE STARTERS

• ❛ Oh, don’t be mad — ❜
  
• ❛ I wish I could but I don’t want to. ❜
  
• ❛ He may not be my soulmate but a girl’s gotta eat. ❜
  
• ❛ I have to go before I put your head through a wall. ❜
  
• ❛ I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ❜
  
• ❛ I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love! ❜
  
• ❛ I think I’m having a stroke. ❜
  
• ❛ Is she aware of our…special situation? ❜
  
• ❛ I dumped him. ❜
  
• ❛ I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day. ❜
  
• ❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜
  
• ❛ I’m curvy and I like it! ❜
  
• ❛ Food? Oh gimme. ❜
  
• ❛ How you doin? ❜
  
• ❛ I’m not even sorry. ❜
  
• ❛ Is it obvious I’m wearing six sweaters? ❜
  
• ❛ Welcome to the real world, it sucks! ❜
  
• ❛ Okay, I know it was a cheap shot but I feel so much better now. ❜
  
• ❛ Could she BE anymore out of my league? ❜
  
• ❛ You ordered pizza without me?  ❜
  
• ❛ Go tell him he’s cute. What’s the worst thing that could happen? ❜
  
• ❛ OH. MY. GOD. ❜
  
• ❛ Shut up! You’re not my real mom! ❜
  
• ❛ Hell is full of people like you. ❜
  
• ❛ Okay, I’m not getting this. ❜
  
• ❛ Why don’t you be a grown up and come watch TV in the fort. ❜
  
• ❛ I hope it’s still funny when you’re in hell! ❜
  
• ❛ I just wanna go over there and kiss him. ❜
  
• ❛  How can I kiss him without letting him know that I like him? ❜
  
• ❛ Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. ❜
  
• ❛ If I had to I’d pee on any one of you. ❜
  
• ❛ Everybody looks so happy, I hate that. ❜
  
• ❛ If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches. ❜
  
• ❛ My life is an embarrassment. I should just go live under somebody’s stairs. ❜
  
• ❛ In junior high this girl said a lot of mean stuff about me and I set her bike on fire. ❜
  
• ❛ __ ate my last stick of gum so I killed him/her/them. ❜
  
• ❛ Can you see my nipples through this shirt? ❜
  
• ❛ You’re not gonna try to make me join a cult are you? ❜
  
• ❛ Remember, a moment on the lips forever on the hips. ❜
  
• ❛ My wallet is too small for my fifties. ❜
  
• ❛ Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink? ❜
  
• ❛ You don’t have a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed to? ❜
  
• ❛ Oh, I’m gonna have to write that down on my hand. ❜
  
• ❛ I guess things were just going too well for me. ❜
  
• ❛ No uterus, No opinion. ❜
  
• ❛ There’s more alcohol right? ❜
  
• ❛ Well aren’t we Mr/Ms the glass is half empty. ❜
  
• ❛ I am so excited, I may vomit. ❜
  
• ❛ Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic? ❜
  
• ❛ Oh, I’m sorry did my back hurt your knife? ❜